adverbs

I find in therapy stories, in cultural stories and my own life story, we all talk about Befores and Afters.

Someday, and I promise this, I am going to write a book called Life is an Adverbial Problem. I am going to write this treatise because if there is one thing I have learned by listening to patient stories, it is that usually people choose an unhelpful adverb to focus on in life.

Think about stories of Before and After. These are stories of crisis, change and transition. There was a Before ....Now there is an After. And people ask Why? All of these words are adverbs. Adverbs tell about other words--verbs, other adverbs, and adjectives. An adverb changes meaning. An adverb answers the questions of How? When? What? To what extent? Where? In what way?

People are looking for meaning in the changes that come into their lives. Life changes like birth, illness, disappointment, love, betrayal, and death...they challenge us to a new level of meaning making.

I know that I am going to focus more now on After the After. This is a different type of story altogether. It is the daily story of living. Few cultural stories tend to it. It is so "daily." It is generally not as exciting as crisis stories, requiring as it does, to be in what has become.

It is not falling in love; it is staying connected.
It is not holding a newborn; it is witnessing the visibility of a person.
It is not celebrating; it is observance.
It is not grieving; it is acceptance.

And by the way, daily is an adverb--as in, daily routine, constantly, often, everyday.

After the After is where we live everyday. Now. Here.

Daily.