I went to yoga tonight.
For most people yoga is a discipline; for me it is a punishment. I am not bendy AND I have monkey mind.
It is very uncomfortable.
The word yoga means relationship. I think in more spiritual circles it has to do with the integrity of your body and mind becoming one. For me the relationship is about minding flying monkeys. They are wicked, these monkeys.
First, the comparison with my non-bendy body with other more bendy bodies begins. Then the self-loathing for not being bendy starts. Before I know it I am not only failing and hating myself, but I become aware that this is occurring. All of this happens within the first two minutes of the breathing during the beginning of yoga class.
The traditional word yoga means "to yoke together." I find that yoga teaches me that I really don't like being yoked to myself and the monkeys that come with me. No wonder I keep myself so busy. When I am searching for home on the yellow brick road of life, I just avoid the monkeys of my mind. On the mat, I have to face them. To notice, I am not them. That my nonbendy self can just relax and breath.
So, I am sure more yoga-minded people would have more sage and kind ways with managing this.
For me, it is more about noticing that I do not have to be trapped by the monkeys in my mind. Then I can relax into their chatter...and breathe.
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